


Hermit School Oneshots

by PBaswellasJam



Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: Ok I personally don't ship any of the hermits but these are not real people so..., character shippings lol not real people, valentines day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:35:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29449404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PBaswellasJam/pseuds/PBaswellasJam
Summary: This is the same universe as my other fic about hermitcraft members in a magical/haunted boarding school, you don't *need* to read it to understand but it is suggested and there is lore for that world in here, it's called 'When Everything Stays',(This mostly exists becuase me and my wrighting buddy Muso wanted a cute Wormman and Evil Xisuma oneshot lolthey literally don't know they have feelings for each other though, this is set in season 6 while the current timeline for the origional fic is season 7)Also yes Wormman's cannonical name is Wörm, though it is also spelled as Worm sometimes.
Relationships: Evil Xisuma/ Worm man, Worm man / Evil Xisuma
Comments: 5
Kudos: 5





	Hermit School Oneshots

Impulse, Tango, and Zed were all sitting in class, very bored, on Valentines day. They were arguing about how all the hermits seemed to have a partner, though they wanted to play matchmaker for the day.  
“There’s like- three people who are alone and Zed, you’re one of them!”  
“Yeah, and I can’t matchmake myself!”  
“Hey, maybe we should stop looking for people in our classroom. I’ve got an idea! Zed, you have a brother, right?”  
“Yeah what about him- oh! I dunno guys, Wörm is pretty naive when it comes to romance. Also I don’t think he’s ever been in a relationship, if he did he’d probably tell me every 5 minutes.”  
“Well that's why we’ll find someone good! Plus, it doesn’t have to be a huge thing, just a date or something!” Impulse said  
“Hmm- I guess so. If anything he’d probably be the one to get overly clingy, but he should be fine.”  
“So- do you know if he likes girls, boys, and or others?” Tango said  
“Uhhh I can ask him-” Zed says, pulling out his phone.  
\---Brother---  
Zed:Hey Worm?  
Worm: What’s up? :D  
Zed: quick question, what gender are you attracted to  
Worm: all  
Worm: how bout you?  
Zed: only girls so far but thanks  
Worm:np!  
\-----  
“We’re good, he’s pan. Unlimited options!”  
“Hmm, ok! How many friends does he have?”  
“...limited options! Uh, there’s Poultry, Npg, y’know, Grian’s cousins. There’s also Ex, he’s best friends with them. X’s sibling, lowkey scary-”  
“Best friends you say? All good relationships start with close friendship!” Impulse buts in before Zed could finish.  
“Well I don’t know about all but yeah, I agree! Plus, we actually know of them” Tango says  
“... Ok then. I guess it does sort of work, but we should probably find out how they act together in the first place. Just to see if it would even work.” Zed says, a tad skeptical  
“True, do you think you know where they’d be by any chance? We could spy- I mean research their dynamic.” Tango suggest.  
“Hmm, I think they’re probably eating lunch at the moment. They tend to eat later than our class cause their schedules are different. Maybe as soon as class ends-”  
He’s interrupted by the bell, signifying class is over.  
“Huh, that’s convenient. Well, let’s go!” Impulse says,as they scramble to grab their stuff and leave.  
As they walk up, they find the table directly across from them and try to as casually as possible listen in to what they say.  
“Worm, I know you like pink but I’m not sure It’s a good idea to put food dye in everything- that stuff is supposed to be pretty bad for you.”  
“But it’s lucky food dye- I found it at my desk with no explanation! I never put it there- who did?” He says, continuing to color his lettuce.  
“Anyways, what did you get on the history test? I’ve never been one to like ancient civilizations much myself.” Ex says, taking a dripping pink tomato and eating it.  
“Oh hush, you’re smart and stuff, you probably did great anyways. I did ok, but not fantastic or anything. Pretty average.”  
“Oh, cool. Y’know, if you want help on stuff I’ll come by no questions asked!” Ex says, trying to be casual but there was obviously a hint of anxiety in their voice.  
“...You’re thinking of Science. Never could do science. Thanks for the offer, but I must warn you it’s as much of a headache to teach me as it is for me to learn.”  
“Well that’s exactly why I should help you, I'll get frustrated less easily than a teacher!”  
“Hm, yeah I’ll think about it.” Worm says, finally putting down the dye.  
“Dang, looks like they’ve practically set up a date without us already-” Tango jokingly whispers  
“Yeah, they're pretty much made for each other. I can tell- I feel it in my bones!” Impulse laughs  
“Your matchmaking bones? Ok ok- we better get out of here anyways before they realise we’re not eating or studying- lets plan this out.” Zed says. They quickly dart out, and walk to their dorm. They pass Xisuma on the way.  
“Oh!! X- we’re kind of on cupid duty and would you happen to know what kinds of people Ex is into?”  
“... Uh. Are you setting them up?? Nevermind- Uh I’m not exactly sure but I know they at least like boys. They had a crush on so many cartoon characters as kids-” X says hesitantly  
“Ooh, thanks!” They say, rushing past. They get back to their dorm, and start working out a plan.  
“Ok. If all goes well, this should be like Disneyworld. Looks effortless, but behind the scenes there’s a lot of effort going in to make it perfect.” Tango says  
“You think Disney land looks effortless? What? It looks insane!” Impulse questions  
“Uhh- not my best analogy. But it should feel magical either way!”  
“Ok- first of all how are we gonna convince them to go? I mean- I know I’d be uncomfortable if we just strolled up and asked ‘Hey, wanna go on a date with your friend?’ so we might want to disguise it or something.”  
“Well they already said they want to study together! Maybe pay a teacher to mention a big quiz tomorrow but ‘whoops I was thinking of the wrong day that’s next week’ so they feel the need to study today?”  
“Hm- sounds stressful but it could work! Ooh! And we could set up a picnic outside! A dinner alone- sounds pretty romantic to me!” Zed replies, grinning .  
“You watch way to many romcoms-” Tango teases  
“Hush, and now thanks to that we have this nice idea!”  
“Ok- we’ll just say that we were gonna have a picnic but can’t because of some reason- say they should go so the food won’t go to waste!” Impulse affirmed  
“Yeah! Ok- which teacher of theirs would take money from a child as bribery to trick his students into thinking there’s a test when there’s not? I know they drift classes because of whatever education program they’re in, so how would we even find their teachers?”  
“Hmm- just ask around? Tfc would probably know if we asked him.”  
“Sure, lets just do that.”  
\-----time skip-----  
Worm was hanging out in his dorm, ignoring his loud roomates and just drawing up concepts for his superhero comic.  
“Wormman can defeat villains easily, but he doesn’t ‘cause he realises that villains aren’t always one sided. Most villains that Wormman has encountered, he couldn’t bear to fight cause they’re just sad people trying to make things right in the wrong way. Is Wormman even a superhero if he’s so bad at stopping all this crime? Are his morals getting in the way of fighting crime? ...I shouldn’t base superheros off of myself, should I.”  
Worm feels his phone ding, and pulls it out to see Ex frantically texting him.  
\-----Alex-----  
Ex: Did you know Mr.Sky assigned a quiz tomorrow????  
Ex: Why didn’t he say during classtime what the heck!!  
Worm: Noooo!! I’m so bad at this unit i’m gonna fail it’s too soon!!  
Worm: Ok- I know you need to study too but now would be a great time if you wanted to help me- im kinda in big trouble otherwise D:  
Ex: Sure i’ll help, meet you where?  
Worm: The library should be good  
\-----  
\-----this is the part where you get a literal lesson in math-----  
Worm puts down his comic and grabs some graph paper, dashing through the hallway.He arrives at the library and spots Ex, sitting beside them.  
“Hey! Ok- so what are we working on?”  
“We should probably start off with the quadratic formulas. If you take your paper, first off we’re gonna have to wright the formula to plug the equation in. Basically, x=-b plus or minus b to the second times -4 times a and c, and then once you find that you divide it by 2a. The way you find which number is a,b, or c is that a is x squared, b is x, and c is just the regular number in the problem.” Ex says, writing it down on a paper in front of the both of them.  
“But why is it plus or minus and not just one?” Worm asks, starting to fidget with his glasses  
“Oh, that’s because when you square a number it can be positive or negative, because -4 to the second and 4 to the second have the same answer.” Ex explains as wörm leans onto him.  
“Oh, I see. Uh- so do we just plug in the abc and then just use the order of operations to solve?” Worm said, a bit unsure  
“Yeah! Exactly! So let’s just look at an example- lets say the problem is x^2 + 4x -3=0 , what is your a,b, and c?”  
“Uhh- A is x^2, b is 4x and c is 3?”  
“That’s good, but we don’t add the x-s when we turn it to a b and c. So it would just be a=1, b=4, and c=-3 because the negative is important!”  
\-----timeskip because you didn’t come here to learn-----  
Worm and Ex had mostly finished learning, they felt pretty confident they’d be prepared and it was reaching dinner time anyways. Just as they were about to wrap up, Worm gets a text message.  
“Oh hey Ex! My brother just told me that he and some friends were going to have a picnic outside but couldn’t, and was wondering if I knew anyone who could help so that there wouldn’t be any wanted food. We should eat out there! It’ll be fun!” Worm says, Grabbing onto Exs arm.  
“Oh, sure! I was getting pretty hungry anyways, that’s pretty convenient.” They say, packing up the graph paper and getting up. They walk outside and soon see a lovely bench, with a picnic blanket spread on top. It was on the side of the building facing the woods and the garden, and there were plenty of wild flowers growing nearby. The sun was just starting to set, and it was a lot less cold than you’d expect on a February night.  
“Oh look! Here’s the basket! How long has this table been here, it’s such a lovely view too?” Worm says, sitting down and looking at the nature just beyond school grounds.  
“Yeah, I noticed this bench just sitting here from when I was gardening, but never noticed how nice of a location it is.” They say, sitting right next to him and opening the basket.  
“Oh wow, strawberries! My favorite!” Ex says, pulling out them along with multiple other fruits and some sandwiches.  
“Oh yeah, no meat. I’ve been thinking of going vegetarian anyways, I like eating meat a lot but the more I think about it the less appetizing it seems. I mean… that used to be a living animal. Yikes.” Ex says, taking an avocado sandwich.  
“Yeah- As someone who’s come from a long line of demi-animals it’s uh, just kinda weird. I mean, I’m not mad at people who do it’s just not something I like to think about.”  
“Hmm, about that- can you turn into a worm or something?” Ex asks, genuinely curious.  
“Nope! The transmutation gene skipped me. I don’t mind though, doesn’t make me any less of a animal-humanoid! It just means I’m more connected to animals without actually being them. “ He shrugs. they both reach for a apple and their hands meet-  
“Oh, you can have it!” Worm says, taking a raspberry instead.  
“How about we split it?” Ex says, somehow breaking it and half and giving it to Worm. He then roasts the apple in his hand, using his nethery abilities.  
“It’s so cool that you can just control heat that easily-” Worm said, curiously staring at the roasted apple. Ex quietly giggles and says  
“That’s pretty much why I did it. That and I think everything tastes better toasty.” They say, scooching a little closer and looking at him happily.  
‘ Worm looked up, suddenly noticing how close they really were. I mean, Ex was just there. Alone with him. On this gorgeous hill. He kind of felt nervous, not really sure why. He didn’t really mind though, but just felt- strange now that he had noticed it.  
“I really like sunsets you know, look! There’s reds, and purples, my favorite colors! And there’s also pinks and yellows too! It just looks really nice together, I think.” Ex says, pointing at the skyline above the trees.  
“...It really does look nice together!” Worm says, fiddling with his hands. They laugh and eat, mostly just enjoying being together when Ex says  
“Oh yeah! Wasn’t it Valentines day today? Well, If I were to spend the day with anyone, I’m very glad it’s you Worm.” Ex says, looking into his eyes.  
“I’m glad I could be with you too Ex, y’know I always feel better just talking to you. You make my day better!” He laughs, half panicking in his mind. He ends up grabbing their hand, which he instantly regrets but Ex doesn’t seem to mind.  
Ex nervously laughs, not wanting to let go of Worm’s hand but also becoming increasingly aware of how sweaty their palms are. They try to seem confident, but also have zero idea if it’s coming off that way or not. The two of them kind of just sit for a moment, awkwardly looking at each other, minds racing. Ex thinks to themself, ‘I should probably say something. What do I say?? Oh jeez I really don’t want to come off the wrong way uh-’  
“Uhm, I like how you always seem to fiddle with your glasses when you are nervous!” They blurt out, instantly thinking ‘wow, because it’s definitely good manors to point out you know they do something when they’re nervous- oh dear’. Worm instinctively reaches his free hand up but then catches himself and quickly lowers it and just kinda giggles a bit, saying  
“Uh, I like how you fiddle with your hair when you space out!! I kinda want to braid your hair sometime- I mean, uh- Your hair looks nice!” He says, turning a bit pink.  
“Thank you! I like when people play with my hair so- uh- Yeah it took a long time to grow out this long!” They say, heart racing a bit. ‘Why why why why’ they just thought, trying to think through the situation. Worm raises his hand a bit and says  
“Uh, may I uh…” half gesturing at his hair  
“Yeah!” Ex says, taking out their hair tie. ‘  
Worm awkwardly starts brushing it, thinking ‘ OH MY GOSH IM TOUCHING THEIR HAIR WHY IS IT SO SOFT WHY DID THEY LET MEEEE’ as Ex turns to let him braid it.  
Zed, Tango, and Impulse watch from around a corner, and Zed just kind of turns away and sits down in half disbelief.  
“You’re sure they weren’t dating already??” Tango says, with a huge grin on his face.  
“And if not- then how??” Impulse says in a very hushed voice.  
“I honestly don’t know. I thought Worm told me everything- he had his mind set on some brother pact thing that I uh, admittedly only half followed. I never thought he’d not share stuff about his life the same way. I mean- he absolutely has the right to, but you don’t know him- He overshares about everything. I’m honestly just confused.” Zedaph says, putting his hand to his head.  
“Impulse, lets hedge a bet! I’ll give you my favorite blanket for a month if they don’t kiss, how about you?”  
“Nah, it’s too early for that! You’re on! I’ll give you my box of obsidian shards if they do!”  
“I can't believe I’m spying on my baby brother as my two best friends bet on if he’ll kiss my other friend’s sibling of which I honestly feel somewhat intimidated by. Is this real life?” Zed says, now very much not wanting to continue looking at them for fear of what he may see.  
Ex was actually very much having a good time. Worm was braiding their hair, and they couldn’t seem to stop thinking of that fact. Ex liked their hair, they liked Worm, and was very happy at this intersection of interests. Wait, this was Valentine's day. Is this just a friend thing?? They just- weren't going to think of that. That could be dealt with at another time. This is fine, everything is going fine.’  
Worm was very nervous that Ex was about to turn around, because his face was as red as a tomato and this was his absolute best friend of which he did not want things to be awkward between them. Ex seemed so chill though- even at every awkward thing he had said and did. They sort of seemed nervous, Worm thought, but definitely not embarrassed like how he was. He tried to calm himself down, just trying to braid Ex’s hair the best he could.  
“My Mom taught me how to braid hair when I was little, cause all my friends growing up were girls. I mean, I don’t think of long hair as girly, it's just I was young enough that most boy’s hair couldn’t have grown that long by that time! Or nonbinary people’s! Uh- some nonbinary people’s- There wasn’t anyone in my hometown who was nonbinary though. Uh, yeah. I’m going to continue talking about hair and not gender! Uh. My parents always said me and Zed were lucky because neither of our parents were blond, it just skipped a generation to us. Is your hair naturally white? It looks really great on you!” He stammered, going into autopilot and making as fancy of a braid as he could.  
“Oh, yeah my hair was born white! I mean, that’s how it’s been for as long as I remember, I guess I could just have misremembered. Or had a different hair color and it changed before I got adopted. Oh yeah, did I ever mention that?” Ex says, sounding calm, and in turn making Worm slightly more relaxed.  
“I think you mentioned having your Dad and older brother other than Xisuma, but not that bit no.”  
“Yeah, Doom guy is the best. I like to think he’s a better father than our parents could have ever been, if they really did choose to leave us. X just kind of forgets that we’re not blood related, he’s super close with him. But yeah, I don’t know how he forgets that much when Ax exists. We jokingly call him the Apathetic X, pretty much just a jerk. Doesn’t like our dad for the sheer reason that he’s mad at our parents for not being there. Kind of stupid if you think aout it, cause it’s not his fault. Oh, I’m just ranting now, aren't I? I think about this stuff a lot but don’t really get a chance to say it. But you’re just really easy to talk to I guess.” They say, shrugging their shoulders a bit. Worm puts his hand on their shoulder,  
“Well I’m glad to listen!” Feeling pretty giddy that he actually opened up to him. Alex wasn’t known to do that, even with their brother. X always kind of seemed to be trying to figure out how they think, maybe that’s the reason why they were so adamant on not telling. Worm just sits and brushes his hands through their hair, feeling insanely lucky that Ex actually let him do so. He wasn’t super surprised, but the way that he had asked in the first place was probably the worst way possible, so that meant they were probably really comfortable with him. As he thought this, Ex leaned back his head and looked up at him, with a huge grin on their face. They were about to say something when-  
Ex’s phone started ringing, with the tune being ‘the sibling song’ by Brian David Gilbert. Ex quickly sits up, and fumbles with it. They pick it up and says  
“X, c’mon you couldn’t have just texted?”  
“I did, several times. Where are you, you’re usually in the dorms by now? Just checking up, sorry if I’m interrupting anything.” X says, trying to conceal his suspicion . Ex rolls their eyes, saying,  
“I’m not there on purpose, I’m with my valentine.” They say, with a wink at Worm.  
“...Valentine?? Wait a minute- is that what Tango Impulse and Zed were- nevermind. Just be sure to get here before curfew, don’t want you to get in trouble with the teachers!” He says, a tad less cheery than he intended.  
“Uhh, yeah. See you.” Ex says, hanging up. “Haha, my brother. Just checking up.” they nervously laugh, moving their half-done braid to face Worm more.  
“Oh! Yeah, I’ll finish that-” Worm says, quickly braiding the rest and putting the tie in. Unbraided their hair was really long, but Worm had platted it in a way where it wasn’t very loose so he had to get closer in order to finish it off. He was wondering what X had said, and was a tad bothered it had interrupted their conversation. But oh well.  
“There! You look beautiful!” Worm says, admiring the braid.  
Ex wills themself to stop blushing, failing and saying  
“I feel beautiful! Thanks!” as they notice the sky had gone dark by now.  
“Oh, uh, we should probably clean this up.” They say, putting all the leftover napkins and containers in the basket.  
“I think the blanket just always stays here? I don’t know, but it’s not raining tonight so it’s probably fine. “ Worm says, getting up.  
“Well, I guess I’ll walk with you back to your dorm if you’d like!” Ex says, looking up at the sky again.  
“Of course!” Worm says, following his gaze.  
“Huh, the stars are out. It is getting pretty late.” he adds, looking back at Ex as they leave.  
\---  
Zed Tango and Impulse scramble to leave, Impulse saying  
“I told you so!!” and Zed saying  
“And I'm glad you were right!!”  
\---  
Ex stops for a second and turns to face him, takes a deep breath and says  
“We should do stuff like this more often! You know, just us. It was really nice.” they say, working up the courage to be the one to grab Worm’s hand. He takes it, and smiles.  
“Yeah. We really should.”

**Author's Note:**

> Oh yeah, I forgot I hadn't mentioned Wörm in 'When Everything Stays' yet- yeah he's very plot relevant in the future but shh don't tell anyone I said so
> 
> this takes place a full year before the current timeline lol
> 
> also if you all need math tutoring I guess I'm good at writing it absentmindedly into fanfictions I guess so I might just start : “fanfic tutoring, learn math alongside your fictional buds!” /j


End file.
